Thursday, October 16, 2014

Ode to Kelsey

I told her not to get pregnant. Some of you might wonder what business it is of mine, and I will tell you that I was concerned because she was between insurance policies. I really meant “not now”. Also, I was speaking as a friend. Not as a boss. Lines become very blurred when someone is almost always doing the things I used to do. Like laundry. I would gladly do some laundry if it meant I could move again. 

She says we wouldn’t have been friends under different circumstances. I contend that we wouldn’t have ever met. She has been early almost every single day and hasn’t ever called in during the last year and a half she’s been working for us. And she has been working. Hard. 

I met her at the nursing home where I lived and she worked. She worked ridiculous hours and was willing to share her story with me. She was in a car wreck. A very bad one, at that, years ago. She needed metal in an ankle. Doctors later discovered a bone infection. Most notably, her aorta had been severed. She has been more than a caregiver. She has become a friend. Best wishes to her and her family as she embarks on some new adventures. She has been an inspiration to me. And she’s stubborn...

We're having a really hard time finding her replacement. If anyone has any ideas, let me know. Her last day is Tuesday. 

Also, an entire team of dieticians would like me to continue eating only liquefied corn. Their main concerns were sanitation and the fact it would be additional work for caregivers. Have they met Chris? Have they met me? Negatory. Have they seen my kitchen? Nope. If anyone has any ideas, let me know.

Friday, October 3, 2014

My Dog Hates Me

My dog hates me. OK, maybe she doesn’t actively hate me. Probably more passive-aggressively tolerant. Probably just passive. No growling or barring teeth. It’s just that I can’t feed her or take her outside or pet her or talk to her. Basically, anything I did before my stroke. I lived with her, then I didn’t. Confusing, I know. I have come to understand that dogs can be uncomfortable a lot like people. Chris also reminded me that Piper hasn’t ever been very affectionate. True. But if I smelled more like beef or cheese… 

Speaking of food, I have primarily “eaten” corn for more than two years now. The formula that gets poured down my feeding tube four times per day is corn. I don’t have a problem with a little corn, but four times per day? For years? I think it’s a bad idea. 

The alternative? A lot of blending. A lot. All under the supervision of my doctor and a dietician. There will be bloodwork. I want it to work. I really want it work. It can’t not work. Double negative? Pish posh. It is my blog, after all. And surely we can’t mess up the food thing.