Friday, July 25, 2014

Keepin' it real

I have been accused of being too sad in my blog. It has not intended to be depressing, but to be a realistic representation of what it can be like for one to recover from a brain stem stroke. That said, I’d like to tell about my weekend away. We were last in Liberal in February of 2012, and I had a stroke in March. You draw your own conclusion, but I will say it’s not my favorite locale. I will say many nice people do or did live there. Anyway, my longest road trip post-stroke has been to Liberal, Kansas, when I went to my brother-in-law’s wedding. All I wanted was to be invisible, so to speak. I did it, thanks to the fact that I could only see Chris’ head, my caregiver and pharmaceuticals. Prescription, of course. Congrats to my brother-in-law and his new wife. For those who are wondering, (Warning: It gets sad here.) I did grow uncomfortable about halfway through the ride home. I needed my legs to be stretched, much like anyone else’s. I would guess it means more road trips for me, but not less sad for my blog. I’m just keepin’ it real.

Wednesday, July 16, 2014

Hospitalized Again

I was hospitalized again. Yes, again. I will spare you the gory details, but my white blood cell count was back up to 25 and my heart rate reached 188. We need to talk to my cardiac surgeon. I narrowly avoided being administered Adenosine to reset my heart rate. I was told everything from it would feel as if I missed a step to sensing I was being hit by a semi. Both for 30 to 45 seconds. Doesn’t sound like much fun, does it? I should have asked if the latter involved me being in a car. It would’ve made sense. I was sick, though, and not exactly on my game. My heart rate went down on its own, thankfully. I say all this to tell you my stay wasn’t too bad. With the exception of my visit to the ICU. I’m pretty sure I went there because of my stupid heart rate, but spent an afternoon there nonetheless. After being stripped of my caregiver, among other things, I was repeatedly called “Alice.” That transgression is typically laughable, but not that day. I had been awake most of the night before. I think this was the worst treatment of the visit, especially when I had four nurses standing over me and talking about me as if I were unresponsive. I started this entry to mention that I forgot to acknowledge the 10th year since my mother’s passing. I am not sure whether I’m mad at myself for not remembering or simply sad. I was inconsolable. My mother would have said not to worry. Anyway, I went home the next day. And she was right. I shouldn’t worry. Ever.